Improving millions of relationships... one language at a time.The 5 Love Languages® by Dr. Gary Chapman has helped millions of couples identify practical and powerful ways to express love, simply by using the appropriate love language. Many husbands and wives who had spent years struggling through marriages they thought were loveless discovered one or both spouses had long been showing love through messages that weren't getting through. By recognizing their different love languages, they witnessed the rebirth of the love they thought had been gone for good.
Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel. Quality time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.
Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.
This language isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.
The 5 Love Languages® profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment. Click here to take the profile.
A 5-Week challenge that helps you to show love to your special someone by completing a weekly challenge. Each challenge will be tailored to your loved one's language and each week you will be reminded to complete your challenge.
Husbands, wives, dating/engaged couples are encouraged to take the challenge
The love language challenge is a great way to enhance the romance by showing love to your partner in their specific love language.
Have an email address? Be sure to sign up at www.lovelanguagechallenge.com to receive the weekly challenges in your inbox. For 5 weeks you will receive your weekly challenge through email as well as conversation starters from the Love Language Challenge Team.
Have an iPhone? Visit the Apple store and download the FREE Love Language Challenge App. For 5 weeks you will receive your weekly challenge through push notifications. Throughout the week you will also receive conversation starters from the Love Language Challenge Team.
Have an Android Phone? Visit the Android Market and download the FREE Love Language Challenge App. For 5 weeks you will receive your weekly challenge through push notifications. Throughout the week you will also receive conversation starters from the Love Language Challenge Team.
There are several easy ways to find out the Love Language of your special someone.
If you are using the iPhone or Android app you can input your partner's email address to have the profile sent directly to them. Once they complete the profile their love language will be sent back to you via email.
If you are not using an app, simply have your partner visit http://www.lovelanguagechallenge.com/profile to take the profile and ask them to share the results. Finally, if your loved one is not able to take the profile consider answering the following questions about your partner:
• How does he/she most often express love to others?
• What does he/she complain about most often?
• What does he/she request most often?
Though our loved one's complaints normally irritate us, they are actually giving us valuable information. If a partner says, "We don't ever spend any time together," you may be tempted to say, "What do you mean? We went out to dinner Thursday night." Such a defensive statement will end the conversation. However, if you respond, "What would you like for us to do?" you will likely get an answer. The complaints of your partner are the most powerful indicators of their primary love language.
Gary Chapman, PhD, is the author of the bestselling The 5 Love Languages® series, which has sold more than 9 million worldwide and has been translated into over 49 languages. Dr. Chapman travels the world presenting seminars on marriage, family, and relationships, and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. He lives in North Carolina with his wife, Karolyn. For more information, click here.